


I get what I deserve

by lilized



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Dreams and Nightmares, Drinking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 23:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12143205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilized/pseuds/lilized
Summary: Jack deals poorly with the aftermath of the Swiss HQ explosion.





	I get what I deserve

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know I should be working on Black Skies, but I'm trying to build up a bit of confidence in my writing and writing short stuff that I actually finish is helping me. Plus, ufficiosulretro A.k.A Irene, showed me her sketches of trash!Jack and told me how she headcanons that Jack hid in Naples and was horribly depressed for a while and well...this happened. I promise I AM trying to get back to the long ass fic I left unfinished!
> 
> As always heartfelt thanks to my beta Su, who checked this over in record time.
> 
> Ps. Yes, I AM going to name all my r76 fics after the lyrics of New Divide by LP.

 

**_> > Get out of HQ. Get out, NOW._ **

 

The letters appeared on the little blue screen in front of his right eye and Jack had to clench his jaw to keep smiling politely to the ambassador he was talking to.

 

"Excuse me, ma'am, I'll be back in a minute." he promised with a gentle squeeze of her arm. As soon as his back was turned, his eyes chased the keys on his visor

 

_ >> What's happening? Do I have to give the evacuation order? _

 

The cursor blinked for only a second before Gabriel’s typed message appeared.

 

**_> > No time._ **

 

Jack took a deep breath. Gabriel wasn't the kind of man who panicked or made the situation more dramatic that it was.

 

_ >> I can't leave without giving the alarm if something is happening, Gabe, there are 279 people in this base. _

 

**_> > Jack, I'm not fucking kidding get your ass out of that building._ **

 

_ >> Sorry, Gabe. _

 

"Athena, activate the emergency evacuation protocol."

 

_"Yes, sir. May I ask why? I don't detect anything out of the ordinary."_

 

"I don't know yet, just do it."

 

**_> > Jack._ **

 

"Everyone, please, stay calm and reach the emergency exit in an orderly fashion."

 

**_> >Jack._ **

 

The first explosion made the building shake and it felt like the floor was tilting, maybe it actually was.

 

**_> >Please, tell me you listened to me for once in your life._ **

 

When Jack was reasonably sure there was none left behind, he started to reply to Gabriel's message, telling him not to worry he would be out in a sec, but before he could finish it he heard the voices.

 

"But I have clear orders to neutralize the Strike Commander, sir."

 

"You won't neutralize anyone if the ceilings falls on your head, _pendejo_ , he's not here. Let's head out."

 

If it weren't for the fact that it was, quite literally, a life or death situation, Jack would have laughed at the scene. Gabriel and some Talon goons, appeared from behind the corner, Gabriel's eyes were the closest to 'terrified' he had ever saw, one of the goons pointed his finger toward him and theatrically exclaimed

 

"That's him!"

 

The second explosion made the glass of the windows explode, it scattered through the air in a horrible parody of snow. Jack used the few seconds of general confusion to get his handgun out of his holster. Five bullets for five targets and the men around Gabriel slumped down on the floor.

 

Gabriel looked just about ready to strangle him. Jack hold his hands up

 

"I'm--" His husband shut him up with a raised finger

 

"If I say there is no time, it means _there is no time._ Jesus, Jack, why do you always have to play the hero?"

 

"Can we do this later, when the HQ is not crumbling around us?"

 

As to prove Jack's point the room swayed again like some cruel giant kid was having fun poking the whole building.

 

"Oh, _now_ you get the urgency of the situation."

 

"Gabe!"

 

"This is not over." Gabriel promised in a threatening tone, Jack could tell he was only half joking,

 

He caught Jack's hand and started marching over the nearest exit, Jack would have complained about being yanked around like a rebellious brat if it weren't for the deep lines of worry etched on Gabe's brow and the spasms of Gabe’s fingers around his hand.

 

Jack never knew exactly what had happened – another charge exploding, or the structure giving out – but the next thing he knew he was struggling to regain consciousness, his ears ringing and his eyes sticky with blood. He passed his hand over it to see more clearly, trying to stand up, his legs shaking like a newborn fawn.

 

“Gabe?” His voice came out raspier than usual, if that was even possible “Gabe!”

 

“Here.”

 

When Jack turned toward the sound of his husband’s voice, his heart stopped. Metal and concrete were crushing a large part of his body, both his legs and part of his torso. There was blood. Too much of it. Jack hurried at his side and started clawing at the rubble, the ringing in his ears replaced by the roaring rush of blood. He could get him out, he could get them both out, everything would be...

 

“Stop. Jack, stop.” Gabe's voice was very weak, Jack's hands obeyed and stilled. Old habits, and all that.

 

"They didn't trust me with the plan after it was too late to do anything, this is my fault, I'm a shitty mole." Gabe said quietly. “I'm sorry.”

 

Jack shook his head, he forced himself to speak even if he felt like someone was squeezing his windpipe “Don't, Gabe. I know what you're doing and you don't have to. We can..we...” Jack curled above him _“_ Please, don't say goodbye _._ ” he begged.

 

Gabe chuckled, his breath was wet and rattled “I don't want to die watching you cry, as romantic as that sounds.” He raised the hand that wasn't smashed by debris and tried to dry tears Jack hadn't know were on his face. Gabriel's eyes turned somber and his smile faded “Jack...I want you to stand up, and try to get out of here alive, could you do that for me?”

 

“I can't. I can't, I'm sorry.”

 

“Yes, you can.” Gabriel had always been a very quiet crier, he wasn't like Jack, Jack was a sobber. It wasn't any different this time, the only indication of Gabriel's weeping were the tracks on his temple, where the tears had streaked the dust and soot off of his skin, while Jack was quivering.

 

It was his fault. He took a calculated risk when he stayed behind, but he thought that decision was a bet on his own life, not _Gabriel's._

 

“Please don't make me.” _Don't make me live without you._ “I love you, I love you, I can't...”

 

“I love you too.” Gabriel cut him off. “Jackie...” A violent cough interrupted him, when he spoke again his teeth were red, his eyes were losing their focus. “Come on, it's my last fucking wish. You gotta...you’ve got to do it. It's a rule...or something.” Gabriel tried to squeeze his hand but it was more of a faint pressure.

 

Jack could feel his soul splintering, but at the same time an odd sense of calm and finality washed over him. The sobs quieted down, he clutched Gabe's hand and gently brushed his forehead with the other.

 

“You know I never listen to you.”

 

“God, you're a fucking brat.” His eyelashes fluttered at Jack's touch nonetheless. _Like a big cat_ , Jack had always teased Gabriel for how much he liked being petted.

 

“Hey, Jack... you'll be okay, right?” Gabe asked in a sluggish tone

 

It was a good thing that Jack had grown up to be a fantastic liar, so his voice didn't shake at all when he said “Of course.”

Gabe seemed to relax. His face smoothed out, there was even a hint of a smile there when he whispered “Good.”

 

Gabriel's chest fell and didn't rise again.

 

* * *

 

 

“Mr. King?”

 

“I'm telling you, _Ciruzz_ ', this time your buddy's actually dead.”

 

C1-R0 glared at his boss “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, didn't anybody programme any bloody tact into you?” The other omnic shrugged her shoulders and left the breakfast tray in his hands

 

“You deal with the mean drunk.”

 

“He's not a...” Maria didn't have any eyebrows to raise meaningfully but Ciro understood her expression anyway “He's not mean.” he amended. Which was, at least, _partially_ true.

 

“Whatever, I'm downstairs if he starts throwing things again.”

 

“That was just _once!”_ Ciro cried after her.

 

He gathered his courage, held the tray on one hand and pushed the door open. The room reeked from the lack of fresh air, spilled beer and cigarette smoke, it was a good thing Ciro could only catalog these inputs and not actually smell them because he had been told they were very unpleasant.

 

“Mr King?” He called again, softly, just in case the man was still asleep. Ciro had learned not to wake up Mr King for any reason, it caused the Flying Bottles Incident, Maria still vividly remembered. The room was very dark, the only light came from the screen of a holo feed droning on. That didn't necessarily mean anything though, Mr King never opened up the green shutters or the window if he could help it.

 

“What?” Mr.King's voice was gruff and deep, and it never failed to make Ciro feel like he had just woken up a dragon from his lair.

 

“Umh, the breakfast, sir?” The man's head popped up from behind the couch, the blonde of his hair was very pale, and it looked like any day he had more and more white hairs on his head and in his long scruffy beard. His skin hung from his bones like a misfit suit, his eyes were sunken with dark circles under them.

 

“I'm not hungry.” The head disappeared again, Ciro tried to get close, basically jumping over a graveyard of discarded pizza boxes and beer cans.

 

“Oh, you've eaten recently?” He asked trying not to sound too surprised

 

“Sure. There's even some pizza left.” He gestured to the table nearby, Ciro walked to it, laid down the tray and inspected the box

 

“That's...that's from the day before yesterday, sir.”

 

The man didn't answer, he simply put a dirty blanket back on himself and closed his eyes

 

“ _Sfogliatelle calde?”_ Mr. King was apparently pretending to be incapable of hearing him or understanding him, despite the fact that Ciro knew the man spoke a passable italian, for an american anyway. “There's some coffee too.”

 

C1-R0 shifted on his feet under the silence

 

“Is there anything I– ”

 

“Go away.”

 

Ciro sighed and obliged, leaving the room. Maria did not understand why C1-R0 was so hell bent on Mr. King staying in their pension, she thought he was crazy to let a drunk who screamed through nightmares every night staying in their B&B.

She didn't know Ciro had dreamed to be a hero once; the first omnic Agent in Overwatch history. That he had all the posters, all the interviews, all the pictures and feeds.

 

That he could recognize Jack Morrison even when he probably couldn't recognize himself.

 

* * *

 

 

Jack stitched his own face up, washed the blood out of his hands and retrieved the fake passport from the safe house he only shared with Gabriel. A fake passport he had told Gabriel he didn't want. ( _What if the press finds out about it?)_ In a safe house he told his husband was a complete overkill. ( _Leading Blackwatch made you paranoid, Gabe.)_

 

He had trusted friends north, to Germany, Sweden. Good friends who didn't deserve to believe he was dead when they had to bury so many of their own already.

 

He took a train south.

 

Some days he thought about Talon, still doing whatever the fuck they were doing.

He was supposed to stop them wasn't he?

They defeated him when he had all the strength of Overwatch at his back and Gabe at his side, so what hope could he possibly do now?

 

Even if he got justice, or at least revenge for Gabriel, then what? Gabe would still be dead.

 

There was no point.

 

Jack found out that if he slept long enough, there were way less hours in the day.

 

Sometimes, after hours spent watching people on the holo feeds talking about Overwatch, Blackwatch, heroes and vigilantes like they knew what the hell they were talking about, he _wanted_ Talon to burn it all down and see how the people would miss Gabriel Reyes then.

 

He couldn't get drunk for very long, his metabolism burned it out too fast, but the alcohol slowed down the chest of hissing snakes that his brain had become.

 

It shouldn't have been Gabe.

 

It should have been Jack.

 

* * *

 

 

“You're shaking, Jackie, what's wrong?” Midday sunlight filtered from the closed blinds, but time seemed suspended in the penumbra of the bedroom.

Gabriels beard tickled his neck, his lips moving against his skin

 

It was a dream, Jack knew it was. Gabriel was dead. Jack didn't do as Gabe said and Gabe died for it.

 

“It was just a nightmare _, mi amor”_ Gabe tugged him closer to his chest, snuggling against his side. “Want to talk about it?”

 

Jack shook his head, Gabriel kissed the nape of his neck.

 

It felt so real.

 

Had Jack dreamed? Was he dreaming now? He couldn't remember.

 

Gabriel's hands wandered south and Jack laughed

 

“You look like you need a distraction.” He murmured cheekily as he nipped Jack's shoulder, at his side, dragging the teeth on his skin.

 

“Boy, do I ever.” Gabe pulled lightly and Jack followed the movement ending up his back, Gabriel crawled up between his legs and sat on his heels, his fingers caressing Jack's thighs, he smirked

 

“What could we do about that, Strike Commander?” He wiggled his eyebrows and Jack cracked up

 

“Oh god, why would you call me that?” Jack played at pushing him away while Gabe alternatively kissed and chuckled against his belly

 

“What? No authority kink? No roleplay? So vanilla, Jack, seriously.”

 

“Positively pedestrian, you will have to divorce me.”

 

Gabe hummed and rested his chin Jack's solar plexus, he looked at him thoughtfully, then smiled “Nah, I'll keep you.”

 

Jack closed his eyes for a second, his whole body was relaxed, there was a feeling of overwhelming happiness constrained in his rib cage.

 

“Jack?”

 

Jack's eyes fluttered opened and looked down, Gabriel looked suddenly very serious

 

“Why didn't you listen to me?” He blinked and looked down

 

“What?”

 

Gabriel's skin started to lose color and peel away, his lips were graying, his expression was one of mute fury and spite. There were flames lapping at the shades of the window, it was suddenly very hot. Jack tried to sat up but Gabriel towered over him, pinning him to the bed by his shoulders. There was blood dripping from him, it dripped on Jack's face, on his eyes.

 

“WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?”

 

Jack jerked awake partly because of his own screams, partly because of the throbbing pain in his fist. Judging from the dent in the wall it must had hit him while flailing around in the nightmare.

He stayed very still for a few minutes, trying to get his sobs under control and, eventually, his breathing.

 

Jack grew used to having nightmares every time he slept, it was exhausting but it wasn't all bad. Sure, they constantly opened up the wound of Jack's grief and poured salt into it, but they also reminded him. He was so scared of the idea of forgetting the sound of Gabriel's voice, how he looked while smiling, what his laugh was like, that even if the ending of his dreams was horrifying and macabre, they still were a welcomed refreshing of memories.

 

He dried up his face and wandered in the room to look for something to calm his nerves. He managed to find and gulp down half a bottle of whiskey but he also had to take note of the fact that he was out of smokes and now of booze.

 

That wouldn't do.

 

He slid in a pair of flip flops and jammed a baseball cap down on his head, not that anyone could possibly associate Overwatch poster boy Jack Morrison with the hobo with poor personal hygiene who lived in a bad neighborhood in Naples.

 

Every street and shop window showed off Christmas decorations, Jack wasn't sure if they were just being over excitable in autumn again or it was already December.

 

He didn't really care.

 

Italy, Jack had learned, didn't have liquor stores, so he was just stepping out of the supermarket, a shopping bag full of beer cans and four whiskey bottles in his hand, when he noticed he was being followed.

 

He turned into a smaller alley and put down the bag, took the new cigarette package out his pocket and lightened one up.

 

What a filthy habit, he hated it.

 

He waited, most of the street lamps were busted and the one over Jack's head was flickering. The faint sound of steps finally got closer and closer, Jack stomped out his smoke and took a sip from one of the bottles before smashing it over the head of the man shadowing him. The guy had just walked past the corner and crumbled with a grunt at Jack's feet.

 

From his ear piece the statics gave away to a crackling voice

 

“Talon one? What's your status?”

 

Jack took the man's gun and checked it for bullets, the grunt twitched and moaned

 

“Answer them.” He ordered pressing the muzzle against his temple “Let them come.”

 

The Talon agent raised a trembling hand to his earpiece and clicked it “Talon one. Requesting back up ”

 

“Roger that.”

 

When the communication closed Jack punched him, his head snapped to the side and before he could turn it again, Jack hit him one more time and he passed out.

He wanted to do it again, and again and again until the man's face was nothing but a mushy meatloaf of what was once facial features. One for Gabe, one for Ana, one for Overwatch...

Sadly, he got distracted by the backup squad swarming the alley.

 

He growled and started shooting, when he had emptied the clip, he started swinging punches. Fighting came back naturally to him, like he had never stopped doing it, it was as easy as breathing.

Then – either one of the Talon idiots got lucky, or possibly the fourteen months of barely eating and heavily abusing legal substances had slowed him down – Jack felt the familiar stinging pain of a bullet entering and exiting his flank.

 

He fell on one knee with a snarl, there was a lot of blood pouring over his fingers where he was pressing on the wound. Only three Talon's agent were still up, but with his head swimming for the blood loss they seemed plenty.

They seemed to notice too, one of them, a woman with a strong middle eastern accent smirked

 

“End of the line, Strike Commander.”

 

Her way around some sounds inevitably reminded him of Ana and his heart lurched in his chest, he was getting killed like a moron in a dirty alley by a bunch of Talon minions, but at least he got to go home to his friends, now. To Gabriel.

 

 _It's not so bad._ Jack thought dropping his head.

 

Her gun fired, but not at him, when Jack looked up he saw the woman, still screaming, struggling against a monstrous shadow. It towered over her, forcing her hand against her fellow agents, who dropped dead with a thud. Clawed hands materialized against the side of her face and snapped her neck with a quick efficient move.

 

Didn't he wake up? Did he dream that? Was he dreaming now? Jack couldn't remember.

 

A vengeful angel of death in a goth parody of his old uniform and the Blackwatch insignia as a mask killing the woman who had just evoked in him the memory of Ana Amari? His subconscious wasn't feeling subtle today.

The ghost? Angel? Nightmare? It rushed to Jack calling his name, over and over, his voice seemed distorted by some kind of filter, but he could have recognized it everywhere.

 

Like he usually did in his nightmares, as the bone white mask vanished from his face like a gust of wind had blown it away, Gabriel looked pale as a corpse, this time though his pupils were red and the white of his eyes had turned black for some reason.

 

What an odd variant on the theme.

 

Jack closed his eyes and waited for the accusations to come.

 

“Stay with me Jackie, don't close your eyes.” Gabriel fingers moved his shirt and exposed the bullet hole “ _Mierda._ Jack, listen to me...”

 

“You died. I didn't listen to you and you died.” Jack's could hear his words slurred, his eyelids were very heavy. He felt Gabriel scooping him up, Jack nuzzled at the base of his neck. His brain fucked up the smell again, the skin too was way too cold.

 

“This is the weirdest dream yet.” He sighed.

“Stay awake, _mi vida,_ stay awake.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Please Jack, I can't lose you again.”

 

_“WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?”_

 

**_Get out of HQ. Get out, NOW._ **

 

“I didn't know you were alive, God, I didn't...I didn't...”

 

* * *

 

 

For once, Jack woke up slowly. His body responded sluggishly and not in a regular I-m-groggy-from-my-hangover kinda of way.

 

Gabriel was holding his hand, asleep in an uncomfortable position on a chair by Jack's bed.

 

It couldn't be.

 

He looked down at his bandaged side and back to his bedside companion.

 

Jack held his breath and waited but nothing nightmarish happened. He could have stayed there just watching transfixed Gabe's chest rhythmically rising and falling forever. His movements must have alerted him, because he stirred, opened and closed his eyes languidly for a moment and then jolted on his seat

 

“You're awake!”

 

Gabe tried to weakly protest the desperate hug he suddenly found himself wrapped in

 

“Your wound...” He protested, but there wasn't any force behind it, and eventually he clung on Jack as desperately and fiercely as Jack was clinging to him. Between shallow breaths and tears, the dark, cancerous knob of anguish that had been growing into Jack's chest melted.

 

“You said you were going to be okay.” Gabriel said “For future reference?” He made a sweeping gesture to the room “None of this qualifies as okay.”

 

Jack laughed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Language notes:
> 
> It came to my attention that querido is apparently a very bad pet name so I tried using different ones in this fic, this post was super useful. Hope you liked it!
> 
> http://thewraithofketterdam.tumblr.com/post/163378001616/spanish-list-of-pet-names-for-your-sombra-and
> 
> Ciruzzo is a diminutive of the name Ciro in the dialect of Naples.
> 
> Sfogliatelle calde : Hot sfogliatelle.  
> Sfogliatelle are a typical Naples puff pastry filled with ricotta cheese. I'm not into pastries but they are, apparently, delicious.
> 
>  
> 
> I'm a very inexperienced tagger, tell me if it needs more! 
> 
> Consider leaving a comment, a kudos, or chatting me up on tumblr, it would be really really nice! (I'm lilized there too)


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